This Week in Free Stuff

Here we are again. Pay attention to this one folks; it’s almost The Day Of Gift-Giving, and you don’t want to miss out on any opportunities to save your wallet some major bruising and give some quality freebies.
  • Someone is cleaning out his garage. Most of his post is boring, but I’ve pulled out a few exceptional lines: “a black refrigerator, made by sears, I believe its a 24 cubic ft refrigerator with freezer on top, we had it in our kitchen and it started making a noise my wife couldnt live with, put it out in garage for an extra beer fridge but its in my way, works great but the noise will make you nuts inside, perfect for gargage. Cannot deliver, will not hold, first here gets it (tomorrow).” Yes, I repeated that letter-by-letter, missing apostrophes and typos included. Let’s focus on just one fact: if this person currently holds a career in sales and marketing, he’s going to get fired on Monday when his boss reads how poorly he marketed his refrigerator.
  • This TV–
–has a vertical problem.
(That’s what the title of the post is. No lie.) It’s a real problem, but let’s just note that the average freebie-seeker isn’t going to know that. They’re just going to think you don’t have your verticals and horizontals figured out yet.
  • Great Books! Here’s the rest of the post (pay close attention):
Times are rough and these books can show you how to clean with what you have in your own cabinets:
How to Clean Practically Anything *Consumer Reports* 2 of thses
Kitchen Hints and Handy Tips
The Best of Health
Uncommon Uses for Common Household Products
Looking After your Body
Great Health Hints and Handy Tips
Hints and Tips to make Like Easier
Now, the owner says the books will show you how to clean. I’m only seeing three books that have that potential. Based on the title, of course. But, rather than berate the owner for her lack of proper articulation, grammar, and use of spell check, let’s give her these props: Time are indeed rough. Bravo for recognizing that.

  • Title of post: “Huge Moving Curb Alert.” Everyone in the Blue Springs area, please be on the lookout for a huge curb that’s on the move. If you happen to see it, call the local authorities.
  • “Large styrofoam pieces available for pick up. . . . I have a large trash bag full, clean, dry, white styrofoam.” Too bad I just mailed my Christmas packages yesterday. I so could have used this on those breakables . . . especially because the styrofoam I got came in an off-white color. I doesn’t match the wrapping paper on those gifts I sent.
  • Winnie the Pooh gift bags. There are three of them. See image for more details.

OMG. I’m so reliving my childhood right now. Interested parties, be warned: I want those gift bags. They are made of fine, expensive, rare materials. Yes, that’s right: you can’t get plastic just anywhere you know.
  • Someone–anyone!–please tell this person that VHS tapes have been on their way out for years. Like, WAY out. Therefore, your VHS tower will have no takers.
  • Title of post: “Free National Geographics – gone.” Read that again. Now read it again. Anybody else want to know why this post exists?
  • Someone’s church is cleaning out its kitchen. Read the following for details: “we have a 55 gal. barrel of used cooking oil. good for biodiesel. its free at our church if you want it email me and i will give you the info. we do ask that you return the 55 gal barrel win you have emptied it.” To their credit, these people are trying to be green by not throwing away their oil. BUT. This effort is nearly canceled out by two factors: (1) their trust that whomever takes this oil will bring back the barrel–keep dreaming, people–and (2) their ability to misspell the word “when” but keep it semi-phonetic in spelling. Let’s hope the individual who wrote this post is not the individual who writes their bulletin material.

That’s all for this week folks. Hope you found some goodies.
Tell me: what measures are you taking to save money when giving gifts this holiday season?
Happy Holidays!
Em Gee.


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