This Week in Free Stuff

Ohmyword, folks. This week’s been crazy in the world of free finds. Let’s get right to it.

  • Office machinery. It’s an all-in-one: printer, copier, fax machine, and scanner. (Model: HP D135.) “Does not print or copy. I don,t know about fax or scan. Comes in its origan box with all parts including manual and CD. In very good physical condition,” says the owner. Thoughts here abound, but for efficiency’s sake, I will say only this: If you, sir, are giving away a computer in “very good physical condition,” then why does it not print or copy at the very least? Oh also, please use spell check next time. Mmmkay, thanks.
  • One thousand beer bottle caps. Is there some new collections trend that I’m unaware of?
  • Title of post: “SCRAPERS…FREE WASHER”. The body of the post gives only location details and phone numbers. Anyone know what the owner means by scrapers? Is he calling us, the takers of freebies, scrapers? Is that slang for moochers? What. Is. Going. On. (Or maybe he just means “scrappers”?)
  • Free sectional sofa with hide-a-bed and recliner sections. See pictures below and just imagine the thoughts swirling around in my head. Start with the condition of the leather and work your way to the uneven alignment of the sections for presentations purpose. And also the small amount of foot space on the reclining portion.

  • Another sectional sofa. This one also has a hide-a-bed, but it lacks the mattress. Also, there are only two sections of this sofa left; the others have already been taken. Reread that last sentence. Imagine the situation here: there is someone somewhere in a living room sitting on only a section of this couch. Ha. That’s funny stuff.

It’s time for another inventory report from the Resources and Supplies Department:

  • Five long, good-sized trees. “You can chop them and take them away for free.”
  • A tree and landscaping business is looking for a free place to dump their wood chips. On a temporary basis. Pause for a moment. Now reread that last sentence. “On a temporary basis.” Let that sink in. Are they really trusting someone won’t use their wood chips to freshen up their own flower beds? Um, they need to get out more. Seriously.
  • Lots of cardboard and wood pallets. “The cardboard is all broke down,” says the owner. And so are your grammar skills.
  • Sweet potatoes and pears. They are sitting on the east side of a church. Take only what you need. I can’t decide if this is a health risk or not. Oh wait. It is.
  • 10-12 cardboard boxes. Anyone need to pack up their Christmas decor? These would be helpful!
  • 10 egg cartons.

That’s all for this week. Anything sound good to you?

For my non-Kansas City readers, anything fantastic being offered in your towns?

Also, next week will be another double feature. I’m taking suggestions for the second city starting right now. Let me know your thoughts on that.

Ciao for now,
Em Gee.


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