This Week in [Maybe] Free Stuff

OMG. This Craigslist post was just sent to me. Note: we’re uncertain of its monetary requirements. It may be free; it may be for sale. Regardless, this post is a must-read (and, for hilarity purposes, all spelling and grammar errors remain intact).

Title of Post: Friendly Adult Cat for Adoption
Body of Post: “I have had tonic for 7 years but we are adopting a child and Tonics special needs will not be healthy for our son. Tonic is overwieght and has trouble cleaning her bottom. I have taken her to the vet for this but it is just a cleaning issue. Tonic is declawed on all 4 paws, spaded, and has a very friendly disposition. She always greets new people at the door and wants to be near her owners. I hope someone can give her the home she deserves.”

Now. A few things should be highlighted.

  • The cat’s name is Tonic.
  • The cat has trouble cleaning itself. A vet was consulted, but apparently vet’s have no expertise in laziness.
  • The cat’s hygiene issues aren’t healthy for their son, but apparently they aren’t a problem for the rest of general America.
  • The cat is spaded. Not spayed; it’s spaded. Readers, any ideas on how this works?
  • If you are greeted at the door by said cat, do not let its bottom near you and your belongings. Unless you have a washing machine handy.

Any interested parties out there? E-mail me for the link and/or the phone number. Also, if you have experience in curbing lazy habits of cats, let me know.

Ciao for now,
Em Gee.


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