Louise LeBoeuf and Laments

Wow it’s been a busy couple of weeks. And I have been a bad blogger. I’m sorry! I’ve been busy! Last week was tech week at the theatre, and then this past weekend was opening weekend, so all my free time for the past couple of weeks has been spent at the theatre. Is that OK? Good. I’m glad you forgive me for my negligence.
To make up for my absence, I bring you some highlights of the past couple of weeks (and yes, I’m fully aware that this is a departure from the usual home remedies I love to write about):
The current theatrical production for which I am stage managing calls for a statue of a woman located in a church courtyard. Until Thursday evening (our final dress rehearsal), we had only the body of the statue, but no base. Until Thursday evening (our final dress rehearsal), I held said statue in place during rehearsals. And life carried on. On Wednesday evening, however, I was the entire statue (I prefer model), as the body of the statue was being finished and attached to the base. Photographic documentation of this moment does not exist that I’m aware of, however please feel free to consider the following photograph as evidence that I had, indeed, been practicing for my debut as Louise LeBoeuf, Statue Goddess Extraordinaire:
Please, note the perfection in the curvature of the arm.
I’ve been practicing. In the mirror.
A somber moment should be entered here. Angie, the bombdotcom roommate, moved out. Though I miss her dearly, it is for the best as she moves on to a fruitful career as a kind soul to all who get to meet her. For me and life here in Kansas City, this means a 900-square-foot mansion all to myself, nearly-futile attempts at cooking real food, and ample room to create, fail, create, succeed!, and dream of being Eddie Ross’ new BFF.
The following conversation actually happened. (Note: Name has been changed to protect the funnyman.)
Friends are gathered around a table eating.
ME
Chewing.
Ow!
TARAH
What?
ME
I bit my lip. Really bad.
TARAH
Are you OK?
ME
Yeah.
Laughter is heard.
ME
To Frederick.
Are you laughing at me?
FREDERICK
He continues to chuckle.
I’m thinking about what I would have said to that.
ME
With a puzzled look.
OK…..
Conversation moves on to another topic.
A moment later, FREDERICK speaks up.
FREDERICK
Do you want me to kiss it and make it better?
Laughter around the table ensues.
ME
After calming down from laughing.
Well, now it’s awkward.
FREDERICK
Maybe for you.
(Yes, that really happened. And no, Frederick and I aren’t in the habit of kissing and making anything better.)
Yesterday was one for the books. I’ve labeled it [Emily] and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. OK, maybe that’s a stretch. But really, read on and join in my misery:
  • I woke up at 7:05, knowing that I was supposed to be at work at 7:30.
  • I spilt my coffee all over my hand and wrist, leaving a lovely trail behind me as I walked down the stairs.
  • I tripped who knows how many times over my own feet (in my cute plaid shoes! the ones with bows!), even though I was walking at a steady pace on even ground.
  • I was informed that I look 16 (you’d think I’d be over this by now).
  • I forgot my water bottle to quench my thirst as I combat the treadmill after work.
  • I somehow managed to throw my socks into the toilet as I changed clothes for the aforementioned treadmill combat experience.
  • I, while attempting any ounce of domesticity I may possess, spilt enough cookie dough over the sides of the mixing bowl–using the mixer–to form three small cookies and managed to break and/or squish another five as I transferred them to a cooling plate.
Well, there are my random highlights from the past couple of weeks. Upcoming projects include deciphering the code to using my crock pot, repotting plants, and surviving another weekend at the theatre. Care to join me?
Ciao for now,
Em Gee.
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2 thoughts on “Louise LeBoeuf and Laments

  1. Hilarious! I love the kiss-and-make-it-better scene.You do make a lovely statuette, if I do say so myself.Sorry to hear about your bad day. Please send me a picture of those super cute sounding shoes.

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