Here at Adams Circle, we celebrate birthdays all week long. You get seven days of birthday goodness, including all the selfishness you want. And since my 26th birthday is this week, Birthday Week is officially in full swing.
Today started with sleeping in, following by lazying around the house in my ratty sweat pants, Birthday Lunch #1 at Chipotle, and pulling the busiest eight-hour shift for our Columbus Day sale.
A few things.
While we value you, our customers, we do not value your crabbiness that insists on tagging along your shopping excursions. So next time lady, don’t huffily remind me that you’ve been waiting for oh-so-long to buy your 20 items and save your extra 40 percent on each and every one of those items when we both know you chose to be one of the 30,000 customers spending money at our 40 percent off, today-only sale. You knew it would be busy when you parked your car in BFE.
Also, it’s part of my job to hand you the 20 percent off coupon and explain how it works. I get paid to do that. And I get tick marks by my name in my boss’s mind when I don’t do it. (No, not really. It just adds emphasis.) So don’t take your receipt and coupon out of my hand while I’m mid-speech and walk away with disdain. Need I remind you I just gave you 40 percent off each and every one of those items.
And another thing, it’s Birthday Week and I’m important to myself, so don’t ruin my day by standing in the fitting area in the middle of my pile of go backs while I’m trying to fold the 15 shirts you decided you don’t want. And if you pull your iPhone out one more time and text your daughter–who wouldn’t join you on this olympic shopping day–about a pair of jeans for her, all while remaining in my workspace, I won’t give you the extra 5 percent off even though you’ve used your store credit card to get the extra discount. You’re already paying nothing for these clothes so stay away from the pile I’m trying to fold. Thanks.
So. Once again, it’s Birthday Week. Start celebrating me.