Thoughts from Ashleigh

ASHLEIGH
So I just had this guy in [the store] and
we were both talking to each other in an
enjoyable manner for a while.
He asked how old I was and then he was like,
“OMG I never would have guessed. You look so young!”
and so on and so forth.

So then he kinda leans forward on the counter
and is like, “So let me ask you, have you seen The Artist?
and I’m like, “No, but I’ve heard it’s good, blah, blah.”
So he tells me about the movie and then says,
“Yeah, it’s playing at the theater downtown,
so I was just wondering if you’d seen it…”
And I’m like, “…nope, haven’t seen it yet.”

At this point he could have just asked me
to go see it with him 27 times by now, right?

But then he’s like, “Well alright, nice talking to you!”
and then he leaves.

I don’t know what happened, but I think I lost.

I am now really hoping he hadn’t said, “…wondering if you’d LIKE to see it,”
and I answered, “No, I haven’t see it,” like an idiot.
But if I’d said that he would have realized I misheard anyway, right!? URGH.

ME
URGH is right. I am frustrated for you.
Dudes are idiots and you seem to get the worst of them.
Perhaps you should be slightly forward next time
and follow your “No, I haven’t seen it” with
“but I’d love to see it with you this weekend.”

ASHLEIGH
Yeah, I’m thinking that that
was my line of the script I had not gotten.

ME
No, he should have asked. He’s dumb.

ASHLEIGH
And I would have gone with him, too!
He wasn’t bad looking and he had a good personality.
And he was born within 80 years of me! Refreshing change!

ME
(silence, as I struggle to maintain composure at work)

ASHLEIGH
I’m telling myself he craftily noticed when we closed,
and is going to appear at 8:00, flowers in hand. Possibly in a limo.
Also, he’s moving to Seattle in 3 months,
so if we could hurry up and get married that’d be perfect.

ME
How long was his hair?

ASHLEIGH
Not long. He just was…or is…in the military.

ME
So it hasn’t had the chance to grow a rat tail
and/or become hygienically challenged?

ASHLEIGH
No.

ME
Just making sure. For your own protection.

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